Camp life, second time around.

Since the last camplife update, I have:
Finished this year's academic first round.
Gone to the hospital, been left in the hallway, and had several nurses deny me a blanket while I waited for two liters of saline to be pumped into me.
Gone home, to my family and my cat.
Gone home again, to my aunt and my friends and my favorite bar.
Had old Greek women check out my rack, make comments (a yearly tradition).
Made friends with a dog.
Spent a little time with a boy.
Burned 400+ songs for a (non-dog) friend to take home to Japan.
Went broke.
Got money again.
Hovered near brokeness ever since then.
Returned to Camp.
Started a new round of scholastic craziness.
Explored the area around Camp with a friend from home.

And, lastly, have listened to one Camp friend complain, frequently, about sex and the not having of it. Which brings me to an important announcement:

If you are my friend, and you are having problems getting people to sleep with you, please bring your worries elsewhere. I am all tuckered out.

There are a lot of things you can do that are better than complaining to me about sex. I know nothing about sex, or boys, or how to trick boys into having sex with you. As far as I know, having sex with a boy takes a propitious aligning of the stars and the matching of two halves of a broken amulet. And even then, there's no guarantee that you'll get past second base.

So, instead of talking to me, here are some things you can do:
*Craigslist. Lots of people on Craigslist are there solely to try and have sex with you.
*Buy a T-Shirt that says "I am looking for a boy, and if you fit the bill I will have sex with you if you only ask and provide a location". Of course, that's a bit wordy, so feel free to substitute the phrase "PORN PRINCESS" or perhaps a large picture of the Playboy bunny instead.
*Find a tantra group. Craigslist could again be helpful here.
*Join a convent, funnel all sexual urges into an undying passion for Jesus Christ.
*Talk to any other friend you might have, one of those friends that isn't me, and preferably one of the opposite gender. They may have sex with you simply to get you to stop talking.

Thank you for allowing me this time to rant. And if any of you have the market cornered on halves of broken magical amulets, please let me know.